I’d like to feel numb again. Forget the pain of a loss that happened too soon. There’s nothing like love. But once love dies, and gets replaced by immense sorrow, I can’t stop thinking about ways to kill the ache at the source and get rid of all the emotions that overwhelm me to the…
It’s probably a test. Certain individuals who live their lives one way think they can drag me back to their shallow level because they can’t accept the fact I’m making changes. Drastic changes. Misery loves company, right? I am still angry as hell. I wish I could let it go but I can’t. I used…
You, the liar, the backstabber, the individual who I thought loved me for me. You haven’t digested the fact that we’re done. You don’t want to see me work on my problems and improve my life because you know you’re a loser. So let me tell you this: being sober makes me want to show…
Well, who would have thought I’d write my 200th post about going to an AA meeting, huh? I certainly didn’t. I must say I felt very nervous about going. I didn’t know what to expect, plus my depression had taken a serious toll on me for the past few days, and the urge to drink…
Wow. I would never think life sober would be so different. My first impression is that it’s dull and incredibly boring. I’ve become a shell of myself to say something like that, but I guess I’m simply the product of my depression. The drinking took the edge off. I didn’t have to deal with feelings.…
I attended my first group meeting today – three hours talking about addiction. After leaving the meeting, I felt happy. I found a place where I can openly talk about my issues, where I can let go of the pain that eats me every second of every day. I’m not choosing sobriety, I’m not choosing…
Looks easy to do right? You shake the ball and wait for the answer every time you’re unsure about doing something. I admit my life would be much easier that way. No pondering for days, no headache, no heartache, no depression, no therapy. Life isn’t so cruel, I would think, and my worries would become…
Sorry for being away. I had to take some serious time off. Find myself again. Look inside my soul and see the light that had been shining there all along. I had lost track of who I was. I wanted to carry so much, I didn’t realize the weight I had put on my shoulders…
So I admit, I lost it yesterday. I have these moments where all I want is to die. I just can’t take the pressure anymore. I feel like a failure, a real piece of shit. Then I start writing on this blog and texting close friends and everyone keeps telling me to cut the crap.…
I have a friend who’s older than me. He often gets depressed because he says his life serves no purpose. He goes to work, lives alone, and parties with his friends every weekend. Binge drinks. Forgets reality for a few hours before starting a new cycle and getting depressed again. I keep saying we all…
The Manicheans 