Note to Self (203) Thurston

I’d like to feel numb again. Forget the pain of a loss that happened too soon. There’s nothing like love. But once love dies, and gets replaced by immense sorrow, I can’t stop thinking about ways to kill the ache at the source and get rid of all the emotions that overwhelm me to the core.

I’m sober though and drinking or drugging isn’t an option anymore. I have to accept my kitty Thurston is gone. I must grieve and heal.

I miss him. I miss hearing him meowing, headbutting me at 5 am because he was hungry, spreading litter everywhere on the bathroom floor and lying on his back, his legs in the air, like he was the most mellow cat in the world. High diabetes and kidney failure got the best of him. I hope he found peace and relief.

I loved you lil man. You’re in my heart forever.

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