Note to Self (199) Sober Living

Wow. I would never think life sober would be so different. My first impression is that it’s dull and incredibly boring. I’ve become a shell of myself to say something like that, but I guess I’m simply the product of my depression. The drinking took the edge off. I didn’t have to deal with feelings. I focused only on what made me feel good when I was drunk, not what made me feel bad.

I know I have a problem and the recovery will take some time. Of course, every minute of every day I think of having a drink. I want to be high. I want to see the world through my distorted mind, because I can’t take the way the world looks now. It’s a matter of perception. I must change the way I think.

So much to do. So many people live in denial in this town. Alcohol is everywhere. I can’t obsess too much. One day at a time and I’ll feel better.

At least I hope so. Because right now, it really sucks.

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