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Note to Self (144) #Today

Today is a nice day. Life is cool. I sound cheesy when I speak, and I stare at the sky endlessly, lost in a daydream I don’t want to end because it feels way too damn good. There’s nothing wrong with you, and that worries me. You’re not a selfish abusive asshole. No. You’re not.…

Note to Self (143) #Together

I like the blue of your eyes You remind me of the ocean Vast and deep I feel an ebbing tide Sweeping me away And I can’t seem to control my feelings anymore. It’s hard to explain, can I ever love you? I think you’re too good for me I think I’m too weak for…

Note to Self (142) My Violent Heart #NIN

I discovered American rock bands when I started hanging out with Americans. Music in France wasn’t quite as raw and badass… I was into rap between the age of twelve and fifteen, then I fell in love with the Spice Girls and the Backstreet Boys, and listened to all pop songs after that. But rock/metal/hardcore…

Note to Self (140) Reminiscence

You know when you look at the sky and nothing makes sense, and you just want to run away to a place where you’ll feel safe and happy again? But do you really know where this place is? Or do you hope to find it during your escape from the routine you despise so much?…

Note to Self (139) #Jerk

I guess I have to be a jerk sometimes, even if I don’t like to be mean. Every rose has its thorns… And I’m no different than anyone else out there. I’ve made a lot of concessions and sacrifices in the past, and now I feel every time someone wants to lock me down in…

Note to Self (138) Just A Feeling

I’ve been looking for an escape route, a way out, somewhere to run and hide until everything was finally over. All the tears I shed, the words I screamed, nothing meant much in the end. It was just a feeling of loneliness, a cry for help, my fear of losing the only love I thought…

Note to Self (137) Court Day

Today I went to court. First hearing for my divorce proceedings. I hadn’t seen my ex in months. I sensed his presence in the hallway and I ignored him. I didn’t once look at him. I kept writing my story on my phone and I waited for a decision to be made. What would await…

Note to Self (136) Homesick

The love of one country made me forget how great it was to live there. I got used to it all. The air, the people, the freedom… I left because I had enough, and needed a break. Now I long to return and smell the City again, because I simply miss it too much. It’s…

Note to Self (135) Deliverance

Someone lurks in the dark and I wait for a light to appear and guide me away from this place. I breathe hard and expect to be delivered from the pain I’ve carried for too long. It’s time for change. It’s time for forgiveness. I extend my hand as I try to catch the shadow…