Note to Self (139) #Jerk

I guess I have to be a jerk sometimes, even if I don’t like to be mean. Every rose has its thorns… And I’m no different than anyone else out there.

I’ve made a lot of concessions and sacrifices in the past, and now I feel every time someone wants to lock me down in a role I don’t like, I react very harshly. I don’t take the time to explain why things can’t work out. I just back down and leave with very little explanation.

Possessive and controlling personalities are the worst. Whether it’s a friend or a date, I hate when people decide they can rule my world the way they want. I grew up with controlling parents, and even as an adult, they still try to tell me what to do. But I learned how to deflect their orders and commands, so their directives don’t affect me anymore.

Yet when it comes to new friends and flings, I can’t bring myself to follow their rules. I like to feel I have a say in the relationship. I like to feel we make decisions together. I like team work. I don’t do submissive and obedient. And the more someone is going to force me to obey, the more I’m going to move away.

I guess I’m like a cat. I can’t be tamed. I decide of the perfect moment to cuddle, and I stay in my corner when I want to rest. I like the attention, but only on my terms. And I don’t do rough unless I feel like a wild animal every once in a while.

So yes, just like a cat, I’m going to be a jerk to anyone who doesn’t understand my true nature. Don’t tell me what to do. Just be patient and show the right amount of love, and you’ll get rewarded.

And I swear, the reward is worth the wait. 😉


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