Note to Self (208) Terrible Tuesdays

It has come to this. A weird rainy afternoon, with my purple rainboots, walking across puddles, not even protecting myself with an umbrella. But why do I need an umbrella if the hood of my coat is big enough to shield me from the rain? I guess if I had an umbrella, I could poke a few eyes out on my way. Small joys really.

The city has awoken. Tourists swarm around the billboards of Times Square and I dodge them like I’d dodge flying balls, it almost has become a skill not to run into people while texting on my cellphone. Can I add that to my resume? I’m very good at it. My word against everyone else’s.

Being great at texting while walking doesn’t seem too hard to achieve with 100% success rate though. Look at the guy behind the window at Starbucks who’s preparing coffee. I’m pretty sure if we had a texting while walking contest he’d beat me.

So what else am I good at?

I need to draw attention to these words, make people aware of my raw talent, show them stuff they haven’t seen before. Maybe I should reinvent the wheel, or repackage it, however you want to look at it. Not easy to be an artist out there. The funny and the lame stand together on opposite sides of the sidewalk. They see each other every day, mimic each other, hate each other. One is successful, and the other isn’t. What makes them so great and so awful? The talent is there, and then lots of work is added to the pile of inspirational ideas – a million of them end up in the garbage too.

I give myself a few seconds every day to be genius. It doesn’t come easy. And my genius remains unnoticed half the time. That’s okay. As long as I keep going at it, I’ll be good at it. Or I’ll just be good. Thanks for the tip Lil Wayne.

Another skill I have to develop is how to refrain myself from lashing out at people – mainly because they block the entrance to the subway or the grocery store – and usually any spot that couldn’t be more inconvenient. Do they have an app I can use to tell people to eff off without them getting mad at me? Maybe something with ultrasound that instantly triggers the muscles in their legs. That kind of technology would be nice.

Instead, I have to learn patience. And cut down the sarcasm so I don’t sound like a frustrated bitch. Um. I really like my sarcasm though. This girl at the corner looks so pretty today, especially because her headband matches her rainboots. I see she put a lot of effort into this. And then this bum comes begging for change again. Sorry. I’m broke today. Had to pay way too many bills yesterday.

Another dawn, another day. Maybe a little UFO will fall from the sky and pick me up on the way, take me somewhere happy and warm. Bond fire, good jokes, lots of oatmeal raisin cookies and doggies to play fetch with. That sounds like an awesome time to me. I don’t need to pack much. I’m ready for boarding now.

I promise to be nice. At least I promise to try to be nice. Can’t be too demanding. I’m only at the beginning. Is someone breaking a hole with a stapler on the other side of the wall? Where’s my privacy guys?

Just be good. The rest shall come later.

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