I can’t sleep. I feel lonely. Empty inside. Unable to love, unable to feel loved. It’s all in my head. I know there are people who love me. But I’m so sad tonight. So sad, yet I can’t cry. I came to this country with so many expectations. Wanting to be close to my half brother, in love with a man who I married, then divorced, and thinking I found a friend who would stick with me forever, I’ve lost them all. My brother didn’t show up at my wedding and didn’t give any excuse. After that, we stopped talking. My marriage became a living hell. And my girlfriend ditched me in the Hamptons because of some dude she was upset with, yet she still sleeps with to this day. She never really tried to apologize. I felt so heartbroken by her behavior I just gave up on the friendship. Today, I feel like I’ve left everyone behind. My trust has been used and abused. I’m not going to talk to my brother ever again. I’m not going to see my ex ever again. I’m not going to be friends with this girl ever again. Does all of this make me a bad person? Over the years, I learned I had to stay true to myself if I wanted to be happy. These decisions are a testament to my honesty. I made peace with myself a million times… Yet, I feel so alone. And mostly I feel like I’m the worst person on the planet.
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Smiles and hugs 🙂
You are not the worst person on the planet. You are changing. Change isn’t always easy. You need to learn to let these things roll off your back. Focus on what’s ahead of you, not on what’s behind you. Smile! You are loved.