Note to Self (124) My Fairy Tale Wedding

I haven’t looked at these pictures in a while. It feels weird to look at them now. I think they belong to another world, and the girl wearing the white gown and the veil isn’t really me.

I guess it’s me after all. I never believed in fairy tales, and the prince charming story didn’t make much sense to me. Yet, when the day of my wedding finally came, I did everything the way every little girl dreams her wedding to be. I had the big white gown, the veil, the castle, the great food, about one hundred guests and what else… ah also a huge cathedral.

So here we are. The scenery couldn’t be more perfect. The weather, the sky, birds, trees, squirrels, they all sang the melody of love just like in Cinderella. And I believed for one moment bliss would last forever.

I felt so impatient to start my new life, I was eager to know when it’d begin! Oh give me details, fill me in, come on, I’m dying here!

We ate. We drank. We danced.

Everything felt just right. I accomplished everything a woman could ask for and I was meant to live happily ever after.

Two souls became one, and as long as love belonged to the picture, possibilities would be endless.

But love didn’t last.

I got thrown against a wall of pre-conceived ideas and when the wall finally broke, I realized the fairy tale had only been a dream. I had opened a new chapter in the book of my life and I didn’t know what to expect. I hoped a lot. I prayed a lot. And at the end of the journey, I turned the page of my book and I left all the fairy tale illusions behind.

Women believe in lies. They believe the size of the ring matters. They want a big diamond and a big dress, and a big cake, and a big ceremony. But what for? Will everything big bring you the true happiness you deserve?

I learned one simple thing from my failed relationship; at the end of the day when you close your eyes and fall asleep, if your heart still aches, there’s something wrong. No fairy tale wedding will ever change that. You’ll end up sad, depressed, and angry. You’ll ask yourself a million times the same question: why did I get married? You’ll look at yourself in the mirror and you’ll beg for a way out. Any way out. Some people will cheat. Some people will run. Some people will hurt. But as long as the ache’s still there, you’ll never really be free.

Think about it. Your fairy tale wedding is what you make of it. Not the bling. Not the wow effect. You only need true love. Nothing else.


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  1. ERMurray

    You’re right. Very right. I had a fairytale wedding last November with just 6 guests in a garden (including us), a seafood meal and then a few night’s stay in a rainforest. Very low key, very us and very memorable; but for all the right reasons. Everyone wanted us to go for the big wedding malarkey but I’m glad we stuck to our guns; no one cares now about how we did it. There was no stress and no masquerading. And we have a lovely relationship, built on mutual hobbies, outdoors and adventure. And of course, love. It’s early days but something feels so right; and spending our wedding day in a way that reflected what we wanted out of our marriage seems to have set the right tone. I hope so.

    • themanicheans

      You know, it’s what you make of it. It really is. I know that next time I get married, I’ll do it low key too. I actually had a civil ceremony prior to the religious one, and there were only a few of us there, and for me, that was the real wedding. But because the family was religious, they wanted the whole nine, and they also wanted to have a “real” wedding before God, because to them, the civil ceremony didn’t matter. But why? I believe in God, but I don’t need to go to a big church and one million people to prove my faith. It’s between me and God. And marriage should be between two people first. We live in a century where we can finally let go of all the pre-conceptions and stereotypical ideas that controlled the lives of so many before us, and never gave them the happiness they deserved. So why should we let these ideas still control us? To please the family? That wedding destroyed me. Instead of cherishing our relationship, I made it a goal to organize the perfect wedding. I became a bridezilla. I was awful to everybody and I even made myself sick because I was the only one in charge of everything in the wedding. Really not worth it. Now that I think of it, I would never have agreed to a big wedding, and certainly not a second wedding that I organized in two months! Sure, I was up to the challenge, but what did it bring me? Nothing. It actually fed fake beliefs and unreachable expectations. I learned my lesson.

      I wish you bliss and lots of happiness. Thank you as always for your comments!

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