Note to Self (113) – Time

It feels like time has passed but I actually don’t feel any older. It’s just bliss, an emotion, a feeling of having grown up without noticing wrinkles slowly marked my face, leaving me with memories I’m unable to forget. Time didn’t teach me patience but impatience.

Things got easier to get, quicker to produce and to sell to me. I, the avid consumer, needed to buy in order to exist in a world where everybody vegetated in an eternal search for their true identity. It took a while to observe the changes and notice them alter my responses to all these precious stimuli sent by the brains controlling my LCD screens. First it was on TV, and then it came on my computer. Finally it appeared right there, under the touch of my finger on a flat and glossy telephone. I didn’t think everything could happen so quickly, destroying the need for more essentials than just bags and shoes…

I just wanted to be human and view the world as a place where I could freely express my thoughts without barricading myself behind a shiny golden watch and a nice brand new pair of fake boobs. Today, I stand behind a window for anyone to see and assess me. Is she smart enough? Can she do the job? I’m a woman in a man’s world. I carry the weight of centuries of preconceived ideas and stereotypes that still pollute my TV every once in a while. I have to move fast before somebody else takes my place. Time flows, sprawls, cracks and crawls within the holes of my walls, but as I am trying to catch it and make it my friend, time always wants to escape. I have to beat the system or it’ll be too late…

I can’t control time. Time controls me. All I can do is run or I’ll end up empty and defeated with nothing to be proud of. So here I write. Here I edit my WIP and I pray not to get hit by a bus on my way to work so I can finish what I started.

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  1. James Garcia Jr.

    You know, I was just thinking about you. It’s been too long since I’ve been by. How are things? I like the new place you’ve got here. I just updated my blog role this morning and got your new address corrected…finally. There’s just so many things to do, you know?
    I hope you’re well, Johanna. *hugs*

    -Jimmy

    • themanicheans

      Hey there!! Thanks, I’m busy, but I stay productive. Working on the book!!! Lots of work, but it’s finally taking shape and I like it. Lots of good stuff happening, can’t really complain. I’m glad you like the new blog, I like it too, it’s cleaner, nicer, just more me. I’m sure you have been busy. Busy is always good. How’s the writing going? *hugs*

      • James Garcia Jr.

        Well, my partner was transfered in January, so I have been Supervising the Sun-Maid Raisin Packaging Floor on my own. I did this once before for three years, but it isn’t fun when you are the only cell phone anybody seemingly knows. This mean an earlier start for awhile, but thanks to some changes with regard to paperwork, I don’t have to start until 4:00 am. I try and get something done at work during coffee breaks. I’ll either work on my third novel, read, work on my Monday blog post or, as I did this past week, work on two articles I had deadlines for. I get home about 3:00 pm and then catch up on promo and networking. I try and read some more just before bed at 8:00 pm – and then we start all over again. I write a lot on Saturday morning. I wrote 2100 words yesterday, if memory serves. Today, between breakfast, watching my wife’s 6 year old niece and doing the laundry, I have been catching up on blogging. My second novel should be finished with the Publisher edits any day now and then it will be up to me to correct what needs correcting. We’re hoping to push for a May release.
        We do it because we love it, right?

        It’s always great to hear from you, J.

      • themanicheans

        Wow you’re busy!!!! Good to hear the second novel is almost out though. I’m doing about the same, except I write on my commute and whenever I get a break of some sort. I’m training an intern, I’m taking more projects on my own, so it gives me less time to focus on the blog and everything else. I dropped several commitments I had taken with different platforms. I’m committed only to one right now, Curiosity Quills Press asked me to become a contributor on their website so I’m writing a weekly column for them about Food and Fantasy Worlds. It’s pretty nice. I keep the pace on my novel, everybody seems pretty excited to read my work and I don’t want to disappoint so… It’s coming together, slowly but surely, I finally found my voice and decided what to do with my characters. It’s always so difficult to figure out how to lead the story but I think I’m on the right track now. Lots of good stuff has been happening, I really can’t complain. I’m really glad you’re well too. Keep up the good work! And yes, we do it because we love it. No other reason. 🙂

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