Note to Self (109) Have I lost My Voice?

Less than a year ago I undertook a journey into the writing world. I had been writing since May 2010 but I wasn’t on Twitter and I didn’t have a blog. All the issues I was facing in my personal life made me feel like I needed an outlet.

So I went out there and I showed myself. Without fear, without reserve, I ranted, I exposed my darkest secrets, and I told the tale of my recovery. One view became forty thousand. Over eight months, I had gathered a crowd of supporters and fans, people from all ages and backgrounds, who believed in me and encouraged me to keep going no matter how down I felt on certain days. I wanted to give up, then a voice emerged and told me to hang in there. I wanted to cry my heart out and another voice told me to speak up.

My life was bound to daily posts. I lost sleep over it. I created a world where my ache had found a reason to exist, and I didn’t know how to detach myself from it. Soon I was known for my incurable pain.

But behind the curtain, I got better. The sadness of the past few months seemed like a long gone nightmare. Even my writing changed and became positive. I knew I was a new person.

I’ve been relentlessly working on my book. I want the world to learn the story of Esperanza, my alter ego in the fiction world who also fought her own demons before finding the strength to grow and become an incredible woman.

Today I wear a new outfit. The author is ready to conquer everything. The blogger will display a new style, a new face, a new version of what the Manicheans represent for me now.

I haven’t lost my voice. Just found a stronger one. And I like it a lot. Will you like it too? I surely hope you do. 🙂

8 comments

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  1. kelliannesweeney

    Life is about growth and you are a beautiful flower. “And then came the moment when it was more painful to be a bud than to bloom.” I don’t know who said that, but I’ve always liked that quote. Best you always. 🙂

  2. Rob Adams

    Changing voice goes hand-in-hand with growing as a writer and as a person. That your voice is becoming stronger is a sign that you are, too.

    Eventually your voice will emerge from its chrysalis as the perfect culmination to your transformation; you will have “arrived,” ready to spread your wings and float where you will with ease.

    Or at least, it sure beats the voice change I went through during puberty–more like tadpole-to-frog…. ;oP

    • themanicheans

      I went through voice changes through puberty too, but maybe not as much as you. Ha! Yeah, well I thought I had lost the interest of my readers for a lil while because I spread myself too thin among several platforms that didn’t really speak for my best interests as a writer. So I backed off, and I focused my time and energy on what was important. I feel much better now! 😉

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