Note to Self (66) My story about ghosts

I turned on my television today, wondering what I could watch that would not suck my brain into a void of intelligence for the rest of the night. I landed on a little show called “Ghost Adventures”.

First and foremost, I’d like to make a statement to my horror followers: I usually don’t write about paranormal phenomena. I can’t give a good enough reason as to why I don’t, I guess it’s like anything else, ghosts don’t turn me on that much. Therefore, I’m really surprised that I got hooked into a GA marathon for a whole Saturday night, repeating to myself that I had seriously missed the mark regarding “cool” shows. This happens to me every once in a while, last time it did, I was watching a “Man v. Food” marathon.

Anyhow, now I’m sold. I don’t know what these guys do, but hey, I want more of it. It’s actually pretty exciting to imagine these three dudes alone in the dark, having the creeps for spirits, and being brave enough not to pee themselves at every hallway corner of the insane asylum they’re “investigating”. Oh maybe they’re peeing themselves and we don’t see it! I don’t care either way. The main guy, what’s his name, Zak, oh yeah, he’s the best of the bunch. Love that guy. He looks nothing like a geek, yet we all know he’s one BIG time. Love when he wears his glasses to look even smarter… He’s a star in my eyes. Now I briefly wondered what it’d be like to be his girlfriend.  Probably interesting, after a while his stuff would get old though. He needs to find another chick who’s more into ghosts than I am.

My favorite episode so far has been the one where they visit the vaults in the underground of Edinburgh. I stayed extremely skeptical until they showed that little teddy bear move “by itself” in the dark…. For the first two minutes I was frantic. I kept saying “Oh my gosh” like a 12 year old, and then I just got the creeps. This was crazy to see the stuffed animal move knowing that nobody pulled an invisible line (well maybe they did so that people like me would continue to watch their show).

I, however, have a question. Every time that they film somewhere, they always invoke the devil, as based on the Christian concept of heaven and hell and, of course, the Bible. They walk around with crosses, holy oil, prayers and what not, which is fine, but made me think: does the Bible work on every ghost? What if the ghost was atheist, Muslim, or Jewish? I can’t believe that all ghosts they encounter are Christian. As a matter of fact, I’d most certainly offer my legal services to represent any ghost who feels discriminated against. Ghosts don’t need my number; they can find me anywhere.

I’d really hate for the show to be canceled, but the harsh reality of our today’s society forces me to raise obvious concerns as to how spiritual entities are being treated, Your Honor. This is totally unfair for ghosts to be the victims of stereotypes and pre-conceived ideas that are grounded in no way, shape or form on our today’s social standards. Ghosts lived a human life before becoming the haunting spirits Mr. Zak and his team are chasing for a lucrative profit, and who are the real stars of the show, Your Honor? They do not even get compensated for their work at creeping these men out. So many injustices have been hidden under the rug (or the squeaky wooden floor) because everybody took these ghosts for granted. I say today we fight back! Your Honor, I’ve gathered enough evidence to demonstrate that the work of these three fellows is totally taking advantage of these spirits, and I request the Court to award my clients just reparation for the irreparable damage that Mr. Zak and his friends caused them. This will be all, Your Honor, thank you for your time.

I’m sure my career would sky rocket if I launched a series of bullshit lawsuits against the GA team on behalf of every ghost they bothered and unfairly treated. Man…. Now it all makes sense. Living or dead, we’re all here to make enough money out of each other as long as nobody stops us from doing it. Ghost hunters… really?

And, of course, I got sucked into it. Ugh.

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