Note to Self (59) Snowhite

She stared at the powder for a long time, hesitantly playing with the straw that lied on the table before her. She had never done hard drugs before. She heard so many stories of kids snorting too much of it and overdosing in bathrooms of clubs. She wasn’t sure whether she should start a habit that she knew was evil. But what else could she do to save her career?

She couldn’t lose more weight as it was. She tried to starve herself but it simply didn’t work. She had to use something that would cut her appetite. Pills were too dangerous, and they could make her sick. She laughed at her own self, thinking that pills were more lethal than this. Yes, she was really desperate.

There was no way she’d return to her job at the pub. Loud drunken guys grabbing her ass when she waitressed their tables belonged to the past. Even her boss tried to have sex with her in the bathroom of the bar one night. And he was married! No, she would not go back to this.

She had found this ad in the newspaper and had gone to the agency, wondering if she had what it took to become a model. She was tall enough, and her facial features looked stunning. The only problem was her weight. She had a slender body, but to modeling standards, she needed to lose another ten pounds. She had never suffered from anorexia or bulimia her whole life, and she didn’t have the energy to start now. She needed something quick and easy. Her acquaintance Gloria told her about doing Snowhite. That was her trick to stay ultra thin. After getting in touch with Gloria’s dealer, she had bought a gram.

Convinced that what she was about to attempt was the right decision, she pressed the straw at the end of the line and quickly inhaled. She imitated what she saw in a movie once. When she looked at the pocket mirror, she felt proud of herself. She had done it like a pro, and it wasn’t that weird after all. She smiled. She snorted another line, this time even quicker.

She let her head rest on top of the couch and focused on the silence of her small studio apartment. A sudden pleasant rush hit her mind, and she closed her eyes. She liked what she was experiencing. It made her feel good, so good.

She repeated her snorting exercise religiously every two hours. She got so high, she stayed up all night, and finally managed to crash in the morning for a few hours. Wow, she had to learn how to regulate her consumption so that it wouldn’t mess up too much with her sleeping cycle, she thought. That thing was addictive.

The trick worked, and she started eating less. She actually stopped eating all together when she constantly snorted, and she never felt tired. This substance had magical effects. How did she not think of doing that earlier?

She was happy. Things were working out for her, finally. Soon she would be able to rent a bigger apartment, and maybe buy a car? She had many more extravagant dreams.

One morning, she noticed something strange about her skin. It was a small black dot, right on her earlobe. Unsure of what it could have been, she applied some foundation on the spot and went on with her routine. The next day, however, the black dot had grown bigger, and was now covering the entire earlobe area, up to the cartilage. When she checked her other ear, she noticed the same thing.

She didn’t know what to do. Today was supposed to be her breakthrough at the agency. She had several appointments with designers scheduled in the afternoon. She applied more foundation, and snorted a few lines.

When she arrived at the first designer’s location, she felt tense. She hoped for the best to happen. She entered the studio confident, and gave them their best smile. Before trying on clothes, she excused herself to go to the bathroom.

She looked in the mirror and noticed another black dot. It had spread to the tip of her nose. She panicked and grabbed her make up bag with shaky hands. While she applied more foundation, she stared at her bloodshot eyes. The dot had to disappear, she kept thinking, she’d see a doctor tomorrow.

The appointment went well, and she continued with her day, applying foundation on every black spot she noticed and snorting Snowhite to give herself motivation. She came back home in the evening more amped than a power plant. She lied in bed and stared at the ceiling for a long time. She’d given her best today, and she prayed to get a job.

She got woken up by a weird itching sensation down her foot. When she turned on the light, she saw that some of her toes had also turned black. She ran to the bathroom and as she took off her clothes she realized that the black had spread to almost her entire face, her neck, and her arms.

She didn’t know what to do but cry. She stayed secluded in her bathroom, and snorted more Snowhite to calm herself down. There was no way she could go outside looking like this. She felt clueless as to what to do. She could not call friends, or family. What would they think of her? Nobody knew she did drugs, and they would be devastated if they saw her like this.

She sat on the edge of her bathtub holding her face in her hands, crying until no tears were left, desperately searching for a solution to her misery. Why did it have to happen to her? She wanted this so bad, and it had been taken away from her, like everything else in her life. She wished she could scream at the top of her lungs how unfair it was to ruin her dream like this. Whoever was responsible, she deserved reparation. She’d call Gloria’s dealer tomorrow.

She stared at herself for a long time in the mirror. In an intense moment of mental delusion, she grabbed a razor blade and started cutting through the black areas all over body, frenetically butchering her skin. The blood flowed like a purifying river, and the black was finally disappearing. There was no return from this, so she’d go all the way, she thought. She snorted to kill the pain, and she started slashing her own face, her expressionless eyes locked on her reflection.

Three days later, there was a knock at the door, but nobody came to open. The superintendant had to use his skeleton key to enter the studio apartment. What he found was unprecedented.

*********

“…and this brings us to tonight breaking news: America’s drug consumers are in danger. Several victims of a flesh-eating substance mixed with Snowhite caused their flesh to rot leading to devastating effects such as permanent scarring or worse, loss of limbs. In the most extreme cases, death may occur…”

*********

Don’t do drugs. 🙂 Flesh-eating cocaine hits LA and New York

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