Note to Self (45) I mourn tonight the death of a love

I knew it would happen, but until it actually did, I never thought it would hit me as hard. I feel empty, my heart tucked on the back of my sleeve, tears rolling on my face, my heart cleansing itself naturally, me not being able to stop the sadness that just invaded me.

I waited for that moment to happen, and prepared myself mentally to face it, but the real deal slapped me and made me feel so little, I swallowed my pride and I cried. I cried so hard, I felt a part of me dying, my head full of dreams telling me that everything would be ok. It is the last battle I have to engage in before I can claim victory. So like a fighter in the ring, I just have to go through it. I’ll take the blows and the broken bones.  Let’s just finish this once and for all.

I’m still incredibly sad. All the memories I share with my executioner are dead. We both turned that page, and I now know how alone I really am.

I mourn tonight the death of a love, the death of a dream, the death of a relationship I thought would last forever. I mourn the love I felt, and all the good like the bad that we shared until we could not stand each other anymore.

It’s official. I’m getting divorced today.

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