Note to Self (16)

I had a dream last night. I dreamt that my husband and I were getting back together. What a nightmare! In my thoughts though, everything worked out for the best. He had changed… What a fluke.

I have no other motivation right now but working and working more, always harder, just to forget the bullshit I’ve been put through for all these years. I’m growing bitter. I don’t like guys anymore, I’m suspicious all they want to do is to fuck me and then break my heart. I’m sure I’m not the first one and the last one who feels this way, but I’m talking about my experience and it truly sucks. I hate men. I really do. I don’t want a relationship, I don’t want even a single one of them even wanting me or touching me. Leave me the fuck alone.

I’m becoming more and more distant with everybody. All I want right now is to be on my own, with my kitties, and I want to work, write and get tattooed.

End of story. The rest can wait, and seriously, I know I’m saying how fucking fed up I am right now and in two days I’m going to go back to my hopeless romantic mode.

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