Hope the weekend has treated you nicely – I started working on my next book, and the hair pulling has begun once again. As 32 Seconds is close to being released, I felt antsy and looked forward to plotting and writing Volume 1 of The Manicheans, which is the series I’ve been working on and off since 2010. Good things come to those who wait, and this project has been put on the back burner too often. I’m happy though to have had the experience of writing 32 Seconds, because now, I found my voice, and know how to tackle the story without rewriting it one million times over (I think this time, I’ll only have to write it 999,999 times over).
I was ecstatic to finally update the software on my phone to iOs8 and Apple has taken me now to the present – note that I didn’t say future, because I was longing to ditch my iPhone for an Android again! – but hey, Mr. and Mrs. Apple gave me the keyboard of my dreams and I can write on my phone – like I used to when I had a Blackberry and my Android. Needless to say, instead of losing my temper against the iPhone keyboard, I waited patiently until my phone would be a friend again. Our bond is now stronger than ever, thank you iOs8 update.
But I digress. I am one of these writers who cannot keep track of ideas on post-its or random pieces of paper, so my phone is my best tool when it comes to drafting my story. I usually write on my commute because it relaxes me. I rewrote the manuscript of the Manicheans three times already, and now comes the fourth time, the magic number! At the fourth draft, I usually have done all the research I need, and the plotting really begins for me. This is how I work, and I can’t plot unless I’ve done some serious character and backstory development.
I thought of a prologue. My first prologue was weak, and didn’t really give any information about the Manicheans and who these people were, and why you had to read about them!
So I came up with a new prologue. Granted it’s not perfect, but it’s getting there. As a treat, I’m pasting the prologue here. 32 Seconds is coming out soon, and the Manicheans will follow with a release next year around the same time. I love to give myself tight deadlines – one book a year is how I roll! 😉
The Manicheans – Volume 1: Esperanza (to be released in 2015) – Prologue
A dream, it was all a dream. Wherever she went, the image of his face appeared in her mind and she drifted, looking for him. But he couldn’t be found. Not that he didn’t want to, she didn’t know where to start. Yeni was long gone and had become a bittersweet memory, with its smiles and kisses, and promises everything would be okay…
Nothing was okay though.
No words would help her now. She had given up hope and didn’t seek forgiveness or redemption. She had one last wish: vanish. Every previous attempt proved pointless. But she had to try one more time for the sake of it. She couldn’t take this loneliness anymore. She was tired of running, tired of finding something to do, tired of being here. Because reality didn’t appeal to her, she needed an escape. Drugs and alcohol worked for a while until they stopped working.
No, she knew she couldn’t be saved. She accepted the fact nothing or no one would change her mind. Resolved and defeated, she had one more card to play before the curtains closed.
Death. Cold, empty, peaceful. She was looking forward to it.
She grabbed the revolver and placed the tip of the barrel against her temple. Taking a deep breath, she closed her eyes. The index pressed on the trigger, she exhaled slowly and pulled. Despite the deafening noise, and the unmistakable smell of gunpowder, the bullet didn’t pierce her skin. Another time, one more failure. No matter how creative the chosen method was, she couldn’t die. The last one hundred and twenty six attempts hadn’t delivered the expected result either.
She grunted and threw the revolver across the room. Then, grabbing a bottle of scotch, she lit a cigarette.
Life just didn’t make any gosh darn sense. Especially when she couldn’t end it when she wanted to. Freedom didn’t mean squat. It was just a word like potato. A potato had a purpose at least.
Staring outside, she blew a purple cloud of smoke against the window and suppressed a snort. Why was her existence so darn pointless? Who was playing a joke on her? If God thought making her invincible was a gift, he could stop pretending to be Santa. What she learned from reading Interview with a Vampire is that there was no joy in immortality.
She watched people shuffle on the ground thirty stories below her, like ants moving relentlessly in one direction or the other, and she wondered what it would feel like to have a goal. Not necessarily a life changing objective, but something to be excited about. A date, a job interview, a doctor’s appointment or any kind of appointment, a social event, shopping sprees, lunch with the girls… She had nothing to do.
Only a miracle would change the monotonous existence she had been living for the past twenty-one years.
Since she didn’t believe in miracles, she had accepted nothing would ever be different.
Today, however, everything would change. She just didn’t know it yet.
Her name was Esperanza Negroni, and she was a Manichean.