#Past memories

These words are for you, my past memories. You made me who I am today. The bad happened for a reason. The good did too. The ugly just topped the cake like oversweet icing I wanted to puke so badly before it turned my stomach into a churning mess.

I look in the mirror and see love and honesty. I can’t hide behind shades of lies anymore. I will be loyal to the friends who have been there all the way. I will forget those who caused me harm. I will ignore the ones who used me for their sick little games. I was a willing participant to my own demise. I secluded myself thinking the world was a war zone. When everything fell, and I finally saw the light at the end of the tunnel, all I really saw was my own desperation.

I am not making compromises as to who should come back into my life and who shouldn’t. There are people who I will never forgive. There are people who showed kindness to me, but still vanished from my thoughts because they didn’t have a place in them anymore. People come into people’s lives for a reason, a season or a lifetime. I’ve decided to sweep away past memories of all the souls that escorted me out of life. For those who didn’t really understand my plight, I have no explanation to give to them. My journey is mine to take, with or without their help.

Love shines through the darkest cloak of dirt. From afar I can still feel it seeping through the walls of my prison. I’ve accepted my true nature, and work to better myself every single day. But I must not forget what I’m made of. This addiction lives inside me. I cannot make friends with it. Just learn to adapt and grow with it.

Today I live with light, but my dark cloud is still floating somewhere above me, looming like a vulture, waiting for me to be weak. Any weakness will cause my demise. Any wrong turn will bring me back to square one. I cannot afford to lose this chance I’ve been given. The battle begins every morning when I wake up, and ends every night when I go to sleep.

Past memories will not poison me. I let them go, and focus on the now. I’ve been blessed with love, and a new voice. As a writer, I must stay true to myself. My words carry the message of my heart. Love is the word I want to carry today.

Rise and shine. Embrace the cards you’ve been dealt and don’t look back. The journey to freedom is yours to undertake at any given moment. The burden of past memories will collapse and shatter, and you’ll feel lighter, and happier.

I’m not bound to the past anymore. My memories only serve as a reminder I am not the same person I used to be.


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